How David Sedaris Taught Me French

My title for this post might be a little misleading, since I don’t speak French and have never met David Sedaris. But let me explain.

Earlier this year, I was listening to David Sedaris’ newest book on audio - “A Carnival of Snackery” - which is a compilation of diary entries from his many years of traveling for book tours. I noticed that he kept mentioning things he could say in various languages while he was visiting different countries. Envy kicked in. And then I noticed that he kept mentioning Pimsleur, which I’d heard of but didn’t know anything about, beyond the name. I decided to look into it and see how the heck David was learning so much.

Here’s the thing: Pimsleur is the exact opposite of how I want to learn languages. It’s almost all audio-based. Not only do you not have to read a single word, but they actually discourage you from doing so at first. You listen to a 30-minute lesson, and you repeat words and phrases back to yourself out loud. This is a great activity to do while you’re, say, cleaning at home alone. Not so great in a crowded elevator or riding the city bus. I’m a visual learner, so just listening and talking to the air is almost torturous for me. But I had a free 7-day trial, so I was determined to give it a try while I could. At the end of the week, worst case scenario is that I hadn’t learned anything new, right?

I’ll tell you what, though. By the fifth or sixth lesson, I couldn’t believe the conversations I could hear and understand! And while it would take me time and thought, I could also say all the things I was hearing. I mean, it’d be painfully slow if I was actually trying to communicate with a native speaker, but I was getting it. Oh, and did I mention I was doing this in French? A language I have never learned before? Doing it for Spanish wouldn’t have proven much of anything for me, so I picked one that was just familiar enough so I’d probably know if I was really screwing things up.

I did eventually mix in the Pimsleur reading lessons because I couldn’t resist seeing what the hell I was saying. (Spoiler alert: French words look nothing like they sound, so the audio version is really the way to go.) I also decided, mostly for fun, to add in Duolingo French lessons. This combo is perfect for me. It satisfies my need to read the words, and the words I’m learning are mostly different on the two platforms. There’s just enough overlap to help my brain connect the dots.

Now, I don’t mean to say that I stepped off the plane in Paris and started chatting with locals. The reality is that I only made it through about 9 or 10 lessons before we started traveling, and since then I am never alone so Pimsleur is tougher to do consistently. But the fact that I could recognize some familiar sounds of words being said around me after only a handful of these lessons, that alone was enough to make it worth it. It did actually come in handy a few times, especially in Tunisia. “Ici” (which means “here”) is a word we use way more than you’d expect, for instance. Or “pas” (“not”) is another good one. I could even combine them into “pas ici.” Did I just blow your mind or what? But really, just identifying a few words beyond the ones we all know (“merci” and “bonjour”) was surprisingly helpful.

Sometime around Italy or Tunisia, the kids randomly decided they want to learn German in addition to Spanish. It’s not totally random, I guess, since they have dual citizenship in the U.S. and Germany, but the timing was apropos of nothing. Sagan has considered it before, and Story likes to copy whatever Sagan does because she’s aware that her time with him is fleeting, so she does her best to bond so hard. (It’s sometimes annoying to him but also very sweet.)

On this walk in Tunisia, it was fun to not be the weirdo talking to myself in a foreign language for once. Story stole my headphones for a German lesson.

I realized that this was the perfect opportunity for Pimsleur to do its thing. Sagan is too advanced in Spanish for Pimsleur to make sense, but for starting a new language, it’s great. I told him to give it a try. He, like me, is a visual learner. So also like me, he was skeptical. He actually said the words, “I’m skeptical.” He had all the same qualms about it that I did, but I convinced him to try a few lessons and see how it went. Once Story knew he was learning, she naturally couldn’t let him get too far ahead of her in this, so she started too.

The Pimsleur method has you do one 30-minute lesson a day. They suggest no more than that, though you can repeat lessons as needed. As of today, Story’s on lesson 5 and Sagan on lesson 8. So clearly we’re not zipping through these or anything. But I love listening to them when they’re doing them. I have no idea what they’re saying, but they sound like German kids who like to talk to themselves. Since I don’t speak German, I can’t say for sure how well they’re learning it. But I have tried to do a few lessons before each new country/language we’ve visited, and I can tell you that my “excuse mes” and “thank yous” have been understood just fine in France, Sweden, Italy, Greece, and Croatia. So I’m pretty confident the kids are learning at least a little. Tonight at dinner was the true test, when they were entertaining a baby at the next table. When the baby’s mom scooped her up to take her home, the kids recognized that the mom said “say goodbye!” in German.

Tschüss!