Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

The title of this post isn’t completely apropos, but my actual mama used that quote on me just yesterday, so it felt right. I’ve promised to not only write about all the good, glamorous parts of our travel, so here’s another one about the harder stuff. Similar to my last post about paperwork, I’m still very much in the thick of the super-boring-yet-somehow-also-super-stressful stage of pre-travel.

Today I un-enrolled my kids from school, updated our dog’s microchip registration, cleaned more, packed more, connected all the people who will be helping us back home to each other, and booked a replacement flight for ours that has been canceled. Almost every website or customer service interaction I had today was messed up and took 90 minutes when it should have taken 5.

I’m waking up most mornings in a moderate state of panic. Different things to worry about each day. It’s panic roulette. Will it be packing-related stress today? Or worry about fires burning down our house while we’re gone? Or maybe the “ohmygod what if our passports will be expired when I check on them this time?” Ignore the fact that I’ve checked them six times this week. This time it might be different. You never know.

It doesn’t help that I’ve seen countless articles about staffing issues at airports, especially London airports (our first stop). Pictures of hundreds of suitcases piled up, waiting for employees to magically appear and get them to their owners. My neighbor texted me today because she’s in Canada without her luggage, which contained her prescription medication. So she’s spending her vacation “shopping for underwear and bras” and frantically trying to find a pharmacy that can hook her up with an international prescription. Poor thing. Lost luggage is the worst.

On the other hand, I thanked her for reminding me that my months (years?) of obsessing over every item we’re packing, so we can avoid checking any bags, will likely be worth it in the end. There have been plenty of moments where I’ve wanted to give up and have just one bag to check, so I wouldn’t have to strain the zippers on my backpack and could maybe even bring that hoodie I’m really gonna miss.

But no, we’re going to make this work with carry-on only. I know I will be grateful for it when we walk past the lines of people waiting for their luggage at the carousel or, worse, waiting to fill out a form because their luggage is lost. It’s been a ridiculous amount of planning to get it dialed in, but I feel like we’ll be okay with what we’ve got. (I am totally going on a shopping spree in Australia at the end of the trip, though. One checked bag per person included with those tickets home, so I might go wild and bring home a full-sized kangaroo. That pouch will be like sneaking another bag in, too!)

I think I’ve gotten off topic here. But I don’t know what the topic really was anyway. Oh, right, just that this part of travel kinda sucks. It’s true. I’m not usually an anxious person, but my brain is in overdrive right now. Adrenaline spikes and emotional crashes. While I was driving today, the saddest song from the Hamilton soundtrack came on my playlist, and I listened to it (twice!) so I could enjoy a good, cathartic cry about everything. It was a good stress release, and a chance for me to grieve a friend’s recent loss and, well, all the things in the news right now. I needed that.

I know myself well enough to know that I’ll feel much better about two hours into our first flight on Sunday. I’ll still be panicky until we are on the plane, and then I’ll spend taxi and take-off remembering all the things I should have packed but didn’t. But then, maybe when the drink cart is coming by, I will relax. I am great at letting go when I’m no longer in control. Right now I’m still very much in charge, and that’s the stressful part. My decisions matter, and I need to planplanplan. By Sunday night, it’ll be out of my hands, and I will reactivate sloth mode, my preferred state of being. And hopefully from that point on, I’ll have way more glamorous, Insta-worthy posts to share than these “travel is hard” ones. Fingers crossed!