Day 112/188: Funchal, Portugal
Our very last European stop on the trip was the port town of Funchal on the island of Madeira. Technically this means we’ve been to Portugal, but that’s a lot like visiting Oahu and claiming you’ve seen America. (We still got a Portugal patch, though. Hell yeah.)
Story eventually made it to the top of the e.
Other than having heard of Madeira, we knew nothing about it. It was just another stop on the cruise, and we had no particular plans for our time there. My main goal was to try to figure out what’s going on with my newest SIM card, which has been uncooperative so far. But then Sagan said he was going to meet up with Maria in Funchal.
Maria? Who the heck is Maria? How in the world do you know somebody in the middle of the ocean? (This is the kind of thing that used to happen to my brother when we were growing up. I distinctly remember a girl waiting on my mom and me in a restaurant in some roadside town we’d never been to before, and her asking me, “Aren’t you Nick’s little sister?”)
Our personalized guided tour by one of the nicest families we’ve ever met.
Sagan explained that she was one of the group of friends that formed on the last cruise we took, and she just happens to live in Funchal. A handful of those friends still keep in touch via Snapchat or Instagram or whatever the cool kids use these days, so he and Maria were going to try to meet up while we were there. At least one of us had plans, then. Very cool.
These guys made the pan-flute look cool.
When we docked, we headed off the ship and right to McDonald’s, for internet (not food). I tried to figure out my SIM card (no luck), and Sagan coordinated with Maria. She knew right where the McDonald’s was, so she and her dad met us there. We’d had no idea what to expect with anything for the day, but ultimately we ended up spending a few quick hours with Maria and both her parents.
Cool pigeon mural inside the McDonald’s. A bit misleading, though…
…because this hawk and his owner are paid to hang out and scare off pigeons. It looks like they’re deep in conversation or going in for a kiss.
They were so wonderful! They walked us through the streets of old town where the doors are all murals, pointed out the church they were married in, bought us shots of the local rum mixed with something yummy, took us to the market, and led us to the cable cars to go up to the top of the mountain.
The family that smokes together…
We got to know a bit about them and their family. Maria’s oldest sister had finished her education for dentistry that day(!!), and the next one is in school for medicine. Mom’s a lawyer, dad’s an auditor, and Maria thinks she’ll go into Economy. They told us about the island and life there. It was all really fast and felt like a whirlwind, but we loved it.
For the first time in my life, I had chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
And then, the best part of all was right at the end: the toboggans. Mike and I had seen something about a toboggan ride you could take in Funchal, so we’d originally had a loose plan to go see what that was and maybe take a ride on it. We were picturing a bobsledding kind of thing, where you go down a big slide, but we were so wrong.
In Funchal, the toboggans are these wicker basket/Santa’s sleigh things that get pulled and pushed down the steep city streets by men wearing traditional white linen clothes and sometimes hats like you’d see in a barbershop quartet. It’s super weird and super fun. On the off chance you’re ever on the island of Madeira, do not miss the opportunity to take this ride.
No skate wheels for this trip down the hill.
Family selfie!
By the time we were done with that, it was time to get back on the ship. We said our goodbyes and thank yous to Maria and her parents, though we would have liked to have more time for the thank you part (they were so helpful and generous).
We all agreed that Funchal was a great stop all-around. Unlike a lot of ports, there was easy access to the city right off the ship. It was beautiful and interesting and walkable, friendly and fun. Of course we had the added bonus of local friends to guide us, but even without them it would have been a cool place to see. I’m not sure when we’d have the opportunity to go back, but if and when we do, we’ll stick around for longer next time.
I sure hope Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t turn out to be a serial killer someday, because his hometown is really damn proud of him. They’ve named their airport after him!
