Day 32-51/188: Barcelona, Spain

This is my second attempt at a Barcelona post. I wrote a nice, long, definitely Pulitzer-worthy post before, but wifi issues made it disappear, so you’ll just have to trust me that it was fantastic. This one will be more half-hearted, I’m sorry to say. Once my brain gets the words out in writing, they’re kinda gone. Anyway, here goes nothing.

Barcelona was our longest stay in any one place, possibly for the entire trip. We were there just shy of three weeks. It was a much needed break from moving every few days. The upside to that was the rest - mental and physical. The downside was that it’s really hard to get motivated to get out and see stuff when you know you have time. We all work better on deadlines, right? But overall it was a good thing. We stayed in a home exchange apartment that was perfectly located to give us walking access to trains, the beach, and all the major sights we wanted to see.

The Hop On Hop Off Bus was a pretty good way to get around town for an overview.

In our time in the city, I found myself constantly running a pros and cons list in my head. I’m not sure why that’s how my brain chose to organize that place in particular, but Mike said he had a similar thought pattern going. So, in no particular order, here are some items from those lists.

Pro: English is widely spoken, and you can get by easily without speaking Spanish.

Con: English is widely spoken, and you can get by easily without speaking Spanish.

What I mean by this is that Mike and I had been looking forward to using our rusty Spanish in real life again. We both used to be quite good (him better than me), but use it or lose it, we lost it over the years. We can both still read it pretty well. Mike is better at speaking. I’m better at listening. But all in all, our Spanish today is pathetic compared to the us of 20 years ago.

So we got to Barcelona prepared to dust off those synapses and force ourselves to habla espanol.

The problem is, the second a local identifies you as American, which is immediately/before you even speak, they switch to English for you. It doesn’t matter if you start out in Spanish. It’s English every time. We couldn’t tell if this was for our benefit or theirs, but it was consistent. You almost had to find another tourist who wanted to practice Spanish too, if you had any hope of a conversation.

Even more baffling and frustrating than that is the fact that everything is written in Catalan everywhere. Catalan is not Spanish. It’s definitely not English. It’s some sort of bastard child of French and, I don’t know, Portuguese? Street signs, store names, train stations…all of these are in Catalan. This would be fine if we were somewhere where Catalan was actually spoken, but we weren’t. Nobody speaks it. You hear Spanish and English all over the place, but your eyeballs have to figure out Catalan for no sensible reason. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for preserving languages. I fight with the entire English-speaking world about “anyways” not being a word and “less vs. fewer.” And while we’re at it, “vs.” is pronounced VERSUS, for the love of god. Not VERSE. 

Gah!

Sorry, I get easily sidetracked by grammar stuff. So yes, I respect trying to keep Catalan alive. But could we agree to have signage in both Catalan and Spanish, so people could actually learn it? In El Paso, I always said that if you lived there and didn’t learn some basic Spanish, you were really working hard at being ignorant. Everything was in both languages, so you naturally picked up at least things like “push = empuje” anytime you walked through a door.

I think we actually got worse at Spanish in our time in Barcelona, because the Catalan would mess with our heads. For instance, I’d go to think of the word for exit in Spanish (“salida”) but in Catalan it was “sortida,” so I’d end up second-guessing myself on this basic word. Was it sartida? Solida? I could have sworn I knew this word!

The Spanish lisp thing too is really a killer for me. I’m sorry, Spain, I just can’t do it. Barthelona will never roll off my tongue. Mike and I both learned Mexican-style Spanish first, and that’s just gonna have to be good enough. Me trying to fake a Spanish accent in Spain would be like me going to Alabama and randomly using a strong southern accent. Surely it would come out being far more offensive than helpful.   

Pro: The beach. 

Mike and I both agreed that the beach we hung out on multiple times was the best urban beach we’d ever visited. There were always plenty of people there for sure, but it never felt overcrowded. No trash. Soft sand. The water was the perfect temperature. And the policia kept the vendors from over-running the place. 

That’s not to say I’m opposed to folks with hustle getting out there and making some money. We saw people offering umbrellas, towels, hair-braiding, and even massages. Oh, and definitely alcohol. But we’ve been on beaches before where that’s completely unregulated, and you just spend your entire time “relaxing” on the beach, repeating, “no thank you” for hours. It gets old and annoying pretty darn quick.

On this beach, the cops cracked down pretty quickly on these folks. The bonus part was the entertainment of watching the vendors outsmart the cops almost 100% of the time. Our first day at the beach, we saw a guy selling towels and umbrellas suddenly drop to his knees and dig a hole like a dog faster than you could imagine. He tossed his goods in there, covered them up, and casually walked off. A minute later, a cop walked right on top of the hidey-hole, poking around all over the place but never knowing how close he was. It was hilarious. We didn’t help the cops because we ain’t no snitches.

Another pro for the beach is that tops are optional. This is pretty normal for Europe, but I hadn’t thought about it until we arrived. What reminded me was the first woman I saw, who happened to have had a double mastectomy. It caught my eye, and I thought, “Cool. She’s rockin’ her body as she should.” And then I realized, “Oh right, so is everyone.” Or really, something like ⅓ of the women were. 

It was Story’s first introduction to seeing women free-boob it in public. As expected, she thought it was weird at first. But about 20 minutes in she decided to give it a try for a few minutes. And by the time we left the beach that day, she’d completely forgotten why she ever wore a top to begin with. 

Tan lines are for chumps.

Con: Smells

Just about every block we walked down, we’d encounter a strong scent of sewage at least once. We were there when it was hot, so I hope this is more of a seasonal thing than a year-round one. It was bad enough to walk past it, but one time I saw people sitting outside a cafe, eating right inside a cloud of stench. That cannot be good for business.

Pro: Sagrada Familia

I’ll admit I was completely clueless about the Sagrada Familia before we saw it. I had heard of it and had a vague sense that it was yet another cathedral. Sagan was the one who was excited to see it, so we made a point of getting there. 

Once we saw it, I felt like an idiot for not having known more about it. I already did a separate post about it, but seriously, go see it if you can. It’s amazing.

Con: Pickpockets

This isn’t a Barcelona-specific problem, and thankfully it also wasn’t a Randall-specific problem on this visit. But Barcelona was our first stop on the trip where I had to tell the kids to stop trusting people and be a little paranoid. Northern Europe is so different from Southern Europe in this way. I know it comes with the territory, but I don’t like it.

Pro: Diversity

Where we live, it’s so white that I find myself craving racial diversity like some people miss the foods of their hometowns. I didn’t grow up surrounded by people who look like me, so it’s more weird for me to fit in so well. Barcelona is one of many places we’ll visit that has a huge mix of races, cultures, and languages. You can’t look at a person and even begin to guess what accents or words will come out of their mouths. I love not knowing what to expect.

Pro/Con: Crosswalks

Barcelonians (I definitely made that word up just now) seem to be rule followers, which I like. They always let pedestrians go, and always obey the traffic laws. But they do like to keep you guessing by waiting until the very last second every single time. They must go through a ridiculous number of brake pads in that city.

Con: Drink Choices

Barcelona in the summer is HOT. And humid. Most places aren’t air-conditioned, and you walk around a lot to get to places. So I have no idea why your only common drink choices are bottled water, juice, and Monster Energy. I mean, water, yes. But if you get sick of water, is full-on fruit juice really what you want to feel refreshed? Or alcohol or coffee? 

There are so many light and refreshing drinks in the world. I can’t believe that a hot, sticky place like Barcelona has imported Monster Energy but not LaCroix or Bubly? Or Vitamin Water or anything sugar-free and cold? I would have killed for a 6-pack of Waterloo.

Sagan figured out why you are supposed to rub sunscreen in when you put it on.

Pro: Pigeons

I have never understood why people love most birds but hate pigeons. I’m the opposite. I don’t want some repetitive, high-pitched tweet waking me up at dawn. That’s what alarms are for, and nobody likes alarms. 

Pigeons are just darker doves, and they have that cute little coo. And yes, they poop everywhere, but at least it’s on the ground or on statues, instead of flying over your head so you have to pray you don’t get hit.

Also, don’t tell me they’re just rats with wings, because I also like rats. Not as much as pigeons, but we did have two pet rats for a couple years so I don’t have the strong rat hate most humans have.

In Barcelona, there’s a whole area at one end of La Rambla that’s dedicated to pigeons. Tourists buy seeds and feed the birds. The birds have gotten so used to this that they get right up in your grill, and it’s hilarious. 

When we first visited Barcelona 14 years ago, Sagan was a toddler. If there was anything he remembered about the place, it surely would have been running through a herd of pigeons and sending them flying. He loved it. And he is still crazy about pigeons. I can’t tell you how many times on this trip alone, he’s quietly stalked a pigeon and told me, “I could totally catch this one.” Story loves all animals, so she’s completely on board for this.

One of the kids’ primary to-do list items for the city was getting a pigeon to land on them. We set aside a whole afternoon for it. And it worked!

Not only pigeons can pigeon in Barcelona. These green guys hang out and try to blend in all over town. I picture them in little Navin Johnson voice saying, “You mean I’m gonna stay this color?!”

Pro: A whole lotta other stuff, summarized in the pictures below.

La Rambla. Definitely touristy but still interesting. We happened to be there on the anniversary of a terrorist attack there. Mike and I took a walk in the rain to visit the memorial. It was simple but beautiful, and we weren’t the only ones paying our respects.

Murals and graffiti art all over town, especially on the metal garage-style doors that close up shops and hide parking garages.

Primark! We needed to swap out some clothes, so I googled “store like Target in Spain.” Primark had everything we needed at prices so low, you know it can’t be good for the environment. But man was it a helpful discovery!

We stayed right by a huge park that always had stuff going on, including rowboat rentals. Mike and Story enjoyed some time out on one.

Street performers and living statues. Mostly on La Rambla, but sometimes in other spots around town. Ya gotta love that these people get out there and do this.

The Gothic Quarter. Just all-around cool to look at. The weird juxtaposition of street performing acrobats in front of an ancient cathedral which had a huge cell phone ad on it was entertaining to me.

Picasso. His museum focused more on his personal life and early/developing art than on the big, famous ones we all know. Damn was that guy talented. The pictures I’m showing here don’t really show you the quality of work he was doing in his early teens. We told Sagan he should be ashamed at how little he has accomplished in comparison. That’s just good parenting, right?

Gaudi! We knew a little about him, but we had no idea just how much influence he had on Barcelona. I wish more architects would follow his crazy lead. He surely left the world a little better than he found it, with all his Dr. Seussian style buildings. Fun fact: Picasso and Gaudi were rivals. Picasso even talked crap about La Sagrada Familia. Picasso was talented, but I’m Team Gaudi if I have to choose.