We Booked Another Thing! Transatlantic Cruises FTW.

We decided a long time ago to take a one-way transatlantic cruise from Europe to South America rather than flying. We love cruising and will likely be more than ready for some relaxing, 6 months into our travels.

We discovered repositioning cruises years ago, when Sagan was two. If you like cruising, these ones are fantastic. (Or if you hate cruising, they are your personal hell.) The ships tend to be emptier and with a much older crowd. On the one we took with Sagan, there were six (yes, six!) kids on the entire ship. Only four of those were enrolled in the kids’ program. So Sagan was basically a superstar with all the camp workers taking care of him, and all the old people doting on him as if he was their grandchild or great-grandchild. It was awesome.

Now, that might be less awesome for an 8-year old and 14-year old this time around, but I still think they’ll enjoy not having to wait in lines for water slides or video games. And if I’m wrong and there are lots of kids on this one, even better.

The biggest bonus of these repositioning cruises is the price, though. The cruise lines need to move the ships seasonally no matter what - to warmer or cooler climates, for instance - so they try to fill the cabins as much as they can to at least get some money in the process. It makes sense, because not too many people can travel one way across the globe right in the heart of the school year. That’s why it’s mostly old folks who are retired and can kinda do whatever the hell they want. Good for them!

So the biggest decision was which cruise, as it turns out a lot of ships move south-southwest from Europe that time of year. We are not picky cruisers at all. I tune out all the negative reviews from snobs. “They served the same food twice. The horror!” Or “The chocolates on my pillow weren’t organic.” F**k that noise. Even the cheapest, oldest ships we’ve been on have been more luxury and royal treatment than a human really ever needs. We love it and appreciate every bit of it. Cruise staff on every line we’ve tried out so far (Carnival, Royal Caribbean, Princess, and Norwegian) have been amazeballs, and they work so hard keeping us happy and comfortable. They leave their families and homes for several months at a time so they can fold towels into animal shapes and sneak in to clean our toilets ninja-style. If I ever stop appreciating the hard work these folks do, someone sit me down and have a come-to-jesus conversation, because I will have become an asshole.

Having said all that, I have decided to avoid Costa Cruises, which has a ton of these Europe-to-South America cruises. The reviews are so bad, and the kinds of bad reviews are so weird that I just can’t commit to spending 2-3 weeks on one of their ships. Waiting in line for hours for dinner and being charged different prices for water depending on your nationality? What? That’s some craziness. I hope someday I’ll get a chance to let them prove the haters wrong, but not this time around.

So anyway, the cruises pretty quickly got narrowed down for us based on prices, dates, and being not Costa. We ultimately decided on an MSC one from Marseille, France to Santos, Brazil. MSC will be new to us, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m pretty confident we’ll enjoy it a ton.

The harder part of the decision was, surprisingly, cabin type. We typically go for the cheapest interior cabin available. Since this is a longer one, though, and we’ll be having plenty of togetherness over the 14 months, Mike and I spent an entire day (an entire day, people) debating the pros and cons of getting a bigger cabin, or two cabins, or every variation on the theme. I finally sent Mike out on a run and told him he was not allowed back into the house until he had made a decision. (Spoiler alert: We opted to spend more for more space this time.)

The thing with cruises is that we do love them for vacations, but we don’t usually consider them “travel.” It’s a bit of cheat to say you’re seeing the world when you stop in a city for 6-8 hours and rush around trying to absorb the culture in less than a day. But, if it allows you to see cities and countries that you wouldn’t otherwise visit at all, it’s still a totally fun way to try stuff out. I call it “sampler plate travel,” and I encourage anyone to do it who is curious about the world but not necessarily ready to jump in with both feet. World travel is intimidating sometimes, so if you want to just dip your toes in, go for it!

Anyway, this cruise will get us a little more time in Spain, Italy, and France, plus it’ll allow us to see Portugal and Brazil…two countries that are new to us that we would probably miss otherwise. I’m excited to get a taste. Ahoy, mateys!