Days 3-5 of 188: London, England, UK — Seeing (the world) 2̶0̶2̶0̶ 2022!

London. England. UK. Great Britain. I’m still fuzzy on how both England and the UK are countries…? And that whole Great Britain thing. I give up.

Whatever it is, here are my thoughts on London, in no particular order.

It’s so much bigger than I’d expected. Not because I didn’t know London was big, but because how often does it happen that you have a place built up in your head and then you get there, and it feels so much smaller? Remember the Alamo?
Well, London is as big as people say. Hyde Park alone took us ages to walk across, which isn’t a complaint because it’s beautiful and has a lot to look at, including palaces and very huggable trees.

We just missed Diana’s birthday, but we saw many notes left for her at Kensington Palace.

Traffic. Holy wow, I think London actually has the worst traffic I’ve seen in the world so far, including India with all of its cows and rickshaws and families of six on one scooter sharing the road. I assumed London would be like Edinburgh, which was where I first discovered that I’m a total nerd for good infrastructure. Smooth traffic flow is sexy! But no, London is not efficient with roundabouts and labeled lanes. Instead it’s a series of poorly timed traffic lights and crosswalks that aren’t marked and just a real hot mess constantly. Twice we made the mistake of opting to uber, thinking that would be the fastest way to get somewhere. Boy howdy were we wrong. Both times! Not even kidding, the second time I considered getting out and walking. On the upside, though, nobody honks their horns and since everyone is late to everything, nobody really seems to care.

The TOOT bus gives you information about the places you pass, but the scripts read on the recordings are so weird. It’s basically a robot saying things like, “Well, I can’t afford to go to this place, but I hear it’s great.” Very relatable, robots. You nailed it.

The diversity is amazing. Not surprising, but still so cool to see and hear. Going in to one tiny restaurant, we heard people speaking English, French, Spanish, and German. Endless combinations of hair styles, clothing, languages, skin colors, and religious symbols. It’s so cool! Back home, our community is homogenous to put it lightly, so I really, really love seeing a big mush of cultures all in one place. It’s how every city should look and feel.

This lady was straight out of Mary Poppins.

The Tube is fantastic. We were able to quickly figure out how to get around on it, and these were the moments I knew we’d get on this journey - so much organic learning! I made sure the kids followed the maps to see how many stops we’d need to pass, when to get off, where to change trains, and (most importantly) to verify that we were headed in the right direction once we were on! Even just getting into and out of the turnstiles was a life lesson for all of us. (Pro tip: In London, you need tickets to get in and out of the station!) We also discussed what to do if we ever got separated on a subway, just in case.

Story could not resist standing on the wiggly part between train cars. She lives dangerously.

Our AirBnB apartment was small, cute, and cozy. Old English plumbing is a bit of a crapshoot, so to speak. Most of the time the toilet flushed great, but sometimes it just…didn’t. No elevator, and we were on the top (4th) floor. The stairwell smelled just like where my Little Grandma lived for the last several years of her life, which is an oddly nice smell, despite what you’re imagining. Good grandma smells like old house and cookies, not bad hospitally ones. I didn’t mind the exercise. Less than a week into this trip, and I’d love to weigh myself. But the scales probably measure stones or whatever, so god only knows how much I’d weigh in that.

The naming conventions in England are THE BEST. There is no wasting time with fancy words that shy away from reality. You have the London Underground, and the London Overground. Menu item: mushy peas. Bathrooms are Toilets. You park your car in the Car Park. Sagan cracked up at University College. Tower Bridge. Round Pond. The simplicity is hilarious. “It’s funny because it’s true!”

Sagan ordered fish ‘n chips and got, like, an actual whole fish…? Mike dared to eat the pickled eggs, which tasted exactly like their name.

A bonus for our time in London was meeting up with friends from back home, who overlapped with us. I forgot to ask if they minded being on our blog, so for now you can just see their butts, as they watched skaters in a skate park.

Sagan’s back has been hurting, so he had to watch from the sidelines and be jealous.

Our friends used to live in London, so we got a quickie personal tour as we all hung out.

Story says: The Eye was super fun, and I’d like to ride it again sometime. Even though it was so high, some things were still as high as it. It was a cool way to look at all the churches and bridges and the whole city.
The food there and really everything took a long time, but all of it was worth it. The food was really good, and the shops were fun. The TOOT Bus was the most fun way to get somewhere, because you can learn about the buildings and stuff along the way.